When someone disapproves of us, we feel small. Learning the skill of tolerating disapproval will set us free to take risks and discover who we really are.
False piety is the voice of the enemy (I Peter 5:8). The accuser (Rev. 12:10). The liar (John 8:44). It’s anti-Christ (John 2:18). It’s darkness disguised as an angel of light (II Cor. 11:14). It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Matt. 7:15). Because it does its dirty work in disguise, it gets away with all kinds of mischief. It counts on us being too naive to recognize it or too unsure or “nice” to call it out for what it is. But that’s exactly what we’re going to do today.
I recently asked the following question on my Flying Free public Facebook page:
“What’s the craziest thing a pastor, Bible counselor, or church leader told you to do in your abusive relationship?”
Within eight hours there were over 180 comments.
That question struck a nerve.
These women lived out their prime years within prison cells built on these lies. Each lie a thick, unbending iron bar.
I’d like to share a few of the answers here, and then I’m going to tear down some of the most prevalent ones.
How can a woman harness her strengths to get an emotionally abusive partner OUT of her head so she can find healing and peace?
What kind of women do abusive men go for? Contrary to what you might think, women who become abuse targets are targeted for some pretty incredible strengths. Here’s how it works.
Emotional abuse is particularly rampant because it flies under the radar and is hard to prove. Women in emotionally abusive relationships can be significantly affected by a simple glance, gesture, or slight change in the tone of voice of her abuser—things that would never be noticed by anyone standing near. Even if you did point it out, others wouldn’t believe it was abusive, not knowing the inside, chronic history of the couple.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
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