False piety is the voice of the enemy (I Peter 5:8). The accuser (Rev. 12:10). The liar (John 8:44). It’s anti-Christ (John 2:18). It’s darkness disguised as an angel of light (II Cor. 11:14). It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Matt. 7:15). Because it does its dirty work in disguise, it gets away with all kinds of mischief. It counts on us being too naive to recognize it or too unsure or “nice” to call it out for what it is. But that’s exactly what we’re going to do today.
Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?
I recently asked the following question on my Flying Free public Facebook page:
“What’s the craziest thing a pastor, Bible counselor, or church leader told you to do in your abusive relationship?”
Within eight hours there were over 180 comments.
That question struck a nerve.
These women lived out their prime years within prison cells built on these lies. Each lie a thick, unbending iron bar.
I’d like to share a few of the answers here, and then I’m going to tear down some of the most prevalent ones.
How can a woman harness her strengths to get an emotionally abusive partner OUT of her head so she can find healing and peace?
What kind of women do abusive men go for? Contrary to what you might think, women who become abuse targets are targeted for some pretty incredible strengths. Here’s how it works.
Thinking of leaving your emotionally abusive relationship? I left mine several years ago. Here are three things I would do differently.
For women of faith in emotionally abusive marriages, it can feel like a death sentence. Getting out isn’t allowed. Or is it? Here’s a more honest way of looking at the problem.
She wondered if she was going crazy. All she ever wanted was to be a good wife and mom, and she gave her marriage and home all the love, energy, and support she had inside. But something was “off” in her marriage. No matter what she did, or how hard she tried, she felt like a failure. They couldn’t seem… Read More
There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.
I recently read World Magazine’s Hidden Violence story, and I knew I needed to step forward and share my experience with Bethlehem Baptist in the Twin Cities (John Piper’s former church). World’s story covered a deeply rooted problem in the conservative church of America, but toward the end, they quote Jason Meyer (lead pastor at Bethlehem Baptist) and a member… Read More