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What if I Want a Divorce but My Abusive Husband Doesn’t? [Episode 190]

September 27, 2022

Surprise! Abusers never want the same thing as their victims. Why should divorce be any different?

Shocking! Abusers never want their “property” to start acting like a person and hightail it out of Dodge (“Dodge” being the marriage. Okay, you get it.)

Spoiler alert! You get to make your own decisions because you’re a grown woman. What? Yes, it’s true.

Divorce isn’t a magic toilet that flushes all your worries away. But it’s a wise, viable option for women who are being systematically destroyed by their closest relationship.

For women who want a divorce from their emotionally abusive husbands, this episode is a reminder of the core things they need to know.

I Don’t Want to Look Like a Bad Christian if I Leave My Abusive Marriage [Episode 175]

June 14, 2022

Abusers who leave a relationship are as rare as steak tartare.

In fact, waiting for an abuser to leave is similar to waiting for them to change.

Or asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas. Riding a unicorn. Losing weight on a cake-only diet.

Not likely.

If abusers are so unhappy with their victims, why don’t they leave first? Because staying fits within the point of abuse: to control you. And unless he’s discovered an excellent and easy alternative, you’re an endless supply for your emotional abuser’s selfishness.

On top of that, if you’re a Christian woman, he knows you take your vows seriously. He’s counting on you to stick it out, no matter what. He’s got “God” on his side.

Finally, when he mistreats you, like any sane person or hurt puppy, you react, and it ain’t pretty. You’re so ashamed of your behavior. He knows it. So instead of focusing on the harm he’s doing, you’re consumed by what a failure—a raging, bitter wretch of a person—you feel like. And you wonder: Am I the abuser?

You’re stuck between a boulder (an impossible, destructive marriage) and a hard place (your paralyzing beliefs).

What now?

How Writing Will Help You Figure Out Your Confusing and Painful Marriage

April 15, 2022

If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.

Making Health and Fitness Easier for Survivors [Episode 151]

December 28, 2021

There’s a reason why people say all abuse is physical abuse. Emotional abuse is a double whammy, destroying your mind and your body.

Long after the abuse stops, you’re still dealing with the fallout.

It can feel like your body has failed you. Like you’re permanently broken. It can feel hopeless and frustrating.

So how do you regain your health and fitness in the aftermath of abuse?

Kylar has a unique approach, one of endless compassion, wisdom, and empathy. Because he’s been there too. And it works. Now he’s healthy and strong, from the inside out and helping others just like you.

Changing Your Role (Chapter Eight of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage) Part Two [Episode 147]

November 30, 2021

If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love.

You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom.

You thought following the rules meant you’d experience bliss and peace in marriage.

You thought you were honoring God by letting people harm you.

But you were really just betraying yourself and holding the doors open for your own destruction.

So if you’re ready to change your role, this is for you.

If you’re ready to experience real, lasting change, this is for you.

If you played the part and followed the rules and were the poster child for humility, long-suffering, and submission, but everything came crashing down anyway, THIS IS FOR YOU.

Four Barriers That Keep Women From Leaving Abusive Relationships [Episode 142]

October 26, 2021

Lydia left her abusive husband.
Then she came back.

She found the guts to leave him again.
And returned another time.

In the end, it took SEVEN times for her to get free.

If you’ve been there or if you’re wondering whether you’ll ever get out too, she’s laying it all on the table in this episode.

The BEST PART? She’s thriving. And she’s no longer ashamed of her past.
Learn more about Lydia’s story in this episode and how you can thrive as well.

Search Results for: spiritual abuse – Page 24