Helping women of faith find hope and healing after emotional and spiritual abuse

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Are you a woman who feels that you have no voice in your significant relationship? Like you’re a non-person? Unimportant? Worthy of nothing but criticism and blame?

Do you feel like a failure as a partner even though you work hard on your side of the street to “get it right?”

Do you wonder if you are the only one experiencing the crazy feelings of insecurity, shame, and fear in your “Christian” relationship?

Are you desperate for relief but have no idea if that’s even possible?

Do you feel stuck?

Do you feel angry, depressed, and anxiously obsessed with trying to solve the riddle of your relationship problem?

If you answered “yes” to some of these questions, you may be experiencing the traumatic side-effects of living in an emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship.

I believe you can recover and heal from emotional and spiritual abuse while also discovering a life of freedom and joy in Christ.

“I just wanted to let you know that I am grateful and strengthened by your honesty and love as you talk about what most of us are afraid to talk about.” Jennifer

“I woke up to the abuse in my Christian marriage, my world turned upside down, and I experienced an insatiable appetite for knowledge on the subject. My husband was a church leader and I was oppressed under patriarchal theology for a long time, experiencing abuse from both my husband and my pastor. I discovered Flying Free and was finally able to accept what had happened to me because of the MANY women who were telling my story back to me. Because you were telling my story back to me. A literal quote that I have provided to a few of my friends: “Natalie Hoffman is the only reason I am still a Christian.” There are the bare bones of this story, but that’s just the point: Your advocacy has become an integral part of it. I aspire to advocate for women’s rights because someone advocated for mine and I believe in that power. And here is the update to my story. I just left my abusive marriage 5 days ago. I filed for divorce, packed my car – tears, nausea, extreme anxiety and all – left the state, moved into a very empty apartment, and a day later began a new job that I had lined up. I could speak 1,000 words to that, or very few, because I think you already understand. Thank you for offering your understanding to so many women like me.Anonymous

Thank you for all your posts. Your words resonate with me and I am encouraged! I was married for 21 years, filed in Feb and divorce is due to finalize this week. Your posts and blog have been a huge encouragement this year.” Diana

“You don’t know how much I needed this right now! It is an answer prayer to the intense suffering I am experiencing today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are a godsend.B.P.

“Thank you for being a light in a dark place, bringing hope to many others.” Judy

“You encourage me to hope. I really appreciate you and your website more than I could ever say. Your honest posts are a huge beacon of light. I so appreciate all you have written and am making my way through pondering as I go. Life is messy right now but I’m trying to have a long view. You’re helping me. Thanks for being there.”  Facebook Comment

What would it be like to be free of the fear of what others think or say about you?

Imagine seeing your circumstances clearly and honestly and knowing with confidence what is real and what isn’t.

What if you could wake up every morning feeling like an adult woman in control of your own life, emotions, and decisions?

Wouldn’t you like to experience wholeness, peace, and hope?

Hi. I’m Natalie. I used to be a conservative Christian woman following all the rules and working hard to create a happy life for my family. My marriage was emotionally destructive (you can get a glimpse into this HERE), and after two decades of hopeless struggle along with numerous failed attempts to get help from my religious community, I hit rock bottom.

One night, eight months pregnant with my ninth child, I escaped to a hotel and spent the entire night wracked in sobs, trying to get up the courage to slit my wrists in the bathtub and end it all. But the baby inside me kept thrusting his little foot into my ribs, reminding me that his life was at stake, too. I couldn’t kill my own child. Then God gave me this verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ( Jeremiah 29:11)

I hauled my exhausted body out of bed the next morning and went to a bookstore with my computer and a resolve to find out what I was dealing with in my life and marriage. That began my journey up and out.

Over the next four years, I learned how to be honest and merciful to myself and how to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus rather than the demands of others. I said goodbye to fear, shame, and guilt. I stopped worshiping a marriage that was destroying me, and I learned to tolerate the disapproval of others through my two-year separation and the 19-month divorce process that followed. I made strides toward healing and recovery, moving toward transformation from a fearful, people-pleasing woman to a more confident, responsible adult with healthy boundaries. I finally accept and love who God made me, and this is what I want for you as well.

Here’s a sneak peek of what you can expect if you join me in your own recovery process:

You may also want to check out my blog, YouTube, and book recommendations for more life-changing help along the way. Be sure to follow me on Facebook and YouTube as well. I link to relevant articles from the web every single day. Find out more about me and what I do in an interview HERE. Check out another interview where I discuss the warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship HERE.  Would you like more concentrated help in your healing journey? Consider joining my private Flying Free education and support membership group. Find out more about this life-changing group HERE.

I hope you’ll join me on this journey toward healing and wholeness in your mind, spirit, and emotions.