In today’s episode, I explore the difficult and often shocking realization that wickedness exists in the world—and sometimes within our closest relationships. Responding to a listener’s inquiry and using insights from Adam Young’s “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast, we’ll unpack the biblical definition of wickedness and discuss how it operates. I’ll also share personal experiences and strategies for recognizing and dealing with destructive individuals.
Key Takeaways:
- The Bible differentiates between normal and wicked people. Understanding these distinctions helps us navigate relationships wisely.
- Wicked individuals attack and blame others when confronted with their harmful actions.
- Evil individuals actively seek to destroy and humiliate their targets.
- A person’s true nature is revealed in difficult situations, especially when they are confronted about their harmful behavior.
- Healing from exposure to wicked or evil individuals is a lifelong process, but it becomes possible when we remove ourselves from the toxic environment.
Related Resources:
- Check out Episode 93 of “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast with Adam Young.
- Read the article I mentioned, “Why Foolproofing Your Life Will Save Your Life,” and then grab Jan Silvious’ book, Foolproofing Your Life.
- Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may enjoy: “What Do You Do If You’re Married to a Fool?” and “What are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce? (And Other Questions!)”
Article: Coming to Terms with the Reality of Evil People: What Every Christian Woman Needs to Know
The belief that bad behavior stems from past wounds or dysfunction, and that we can somehow “fix” it with love, prayer, and forgiveness, can leave many people feeling trapped in toxic relationships.
If you’ve been conditioned to believe that your husband, parent, or church leader just needs more grace and patience, it may be time to take a step back and reconsider what the Bible actually says about human nature, evil, and how to respond to harmful people.
Are All People Good? The Church’s Teaching vs. Reality
Some churches emphasize that all people are good at heart, dismissing discussions about evil as judgmental or unkind. Others take the opposite stance, teaching that everyone is inherently sinful and must constantly battle against their wicked nature. Neither perspective fully captures the reality that some people actively choose to harm others—and refuse to change, no matter how much grace, patience, or prayer is extended to them.
If you’ve ever struggled with guilt for recognizing that certain people in your life are toxic or harmful, you’re not alone. Coming to terms with the existence of truly evil individuals can be a painful and lengthy process, but it’s necessary for your safety and healing.
Understanding the Difference: Normal vs. Wicked vs. Evil
In Episode 93 of “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast, Adam Young breaks down three categories of people: normal, wicked, and evil. Understanding these differences can help you make wise choices about how to interact with those around you.
- Normal People: Everyone has moments of anger, frustration, and regret. A normal person may raise their voice, say something unkind, or act selfishly—but they are also capable of self-reflection, remorse, and genuine change.
- Wicked People: These individuals repeatedly harm others but refuse to take responsibility. When confronted, they blame-shift, manipulate, or attack instead of acknowledging their wrongdoing.
- Evil People: Unlike the wicked, who harm others primarily to maintain control, evil individuals seek to actively destroy, humiliate, or undermine others. Their goal isn’t just self-preservation—it’s inflicting suffering.
How Do You Know If Someone Is Wicked or Evil?
At first glance, normal, wicked, and evil people may appear the same. The key difference lies in how they respond to accountability.
- When a normal person realizes they’ve hurt someone, they seek to make amends.
- A wicked person will attack, blame, or gaslight you for even suggesting they did something wrong.
- An evil person will go further, attempting to ruin your reputation, isolate you, or even escalate to physical violence.
If you’ve ever set a boundary with your husband, only to have him turn others against you, claim you’re the abuser, or punish you emotionally, you may be dealing with more than just “dysfunction.”
Why Recognizing Evil Is Essential for Your Healing
One of the biggest mistakes Christian women make is continuing to engage with wicked or evil people, believing that if they just explain themselves better, pray harder, or forgive more, things will change. The Bible warns against this.
- Proverbs 13:20 – “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
- Matthew 7:6 – “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”
- Jeremiah 8:6 – “No one repents of his wickedness, saying, ‘What have I done?’”
The Bible acknowledges that some people will never repent, never change, and will only bring destruction into your life if you keep them close. Recognizing this is not unloving—it’s wisdom.
Steps to Protect Yourself from Wicked and Evil People
- Trust Patterns, Not Promises – If someone repeatedly hurts you and refuses to take responsibility, believe their actions, not their words.
- Set Boundaries—and Enforce Them – No contact may be necessary in some cases. Don’t be afraid to step away from toxic relationships.
- Find a Support System – Seek out a safe community that understands emotional abuse and can help you rebuild your confidence and strength. (Check out the Flying Free Kaleidoscope!)
- Educate Yourself – Learn more about emotional abuse, narcissism, and spiritual manipulation. Books like Foolproofing Your Life by Jan Silvious can help.
- Prioritize Your Healing – Long-term exposure to toxic individuals leaves lasting wounds. Give yourself permission to heal, no matter how long it takes.
You Are Not Alone—There Is Hope
If you’ve been gaslit into believing you’re the problem or manipulated into staying in a destructive relationship, know this: you are not alone. Healing takes time, and the first step is understanding the truth about what (and who) you’re dealing with.
Imagine a world where you are safe, free, and surrounded by love. A world where you no longer feel like you have to fight to be heard or understood. This world is possible, and it starts with breaking free from the lies that keep you trapped.
The Flying Free Kaleidoscope community is here to support you every step of the way. You don’t have to do this alone. To learn more, visit, joinflyingfree.com. We can’t wait to welcome you home, beautiful butterfly.
