Marriage Intensives Can Deepen an Emotional Abuse Victim’s Trauma
Will a marriage intensive work to save my marriage?
Will a marriage intensive work to save my marriage?
Have you ever gone around in circles during a conversation with someone with no hope of ever reaching any kind of resolution? The abuse cycle is just like that — a never-ending loop of tension, an explosion, and then most confusing of all, a really “good” part of the cycle where the abuser is seemingly kind.
But how do we get off of this chaotic merry-go-round? How do we interrupt the cycle? I’m glad you asked. As a former card-carrying member of the merry-go-round, I have a few ideas for you as you work towards interrupting the cycle.
If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that in case of emergency, the flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your kids put on theirs. Healing is the same way. We can’t help our kids heal until we heal ourselves. If we stay stuck, our kids are going to suffer right along with us.
You get the opportunity to be your kids’ biggest hero, support, and safe space. But you have to be YOUR biggest hero, support, and safe space first. Let’s learn how—together.
It’s not often that we get a listener question from a man, and less often that we actually answer it. But today’s question of, “Should I continue to hold out hope for my marriage after abusing my wife? Should I fight for my wife? And what, in your opinion, does that look like?” struck me as being a question that we could all benefit from, so I’m going to give you my honest answer and hopefully help all of the women in this community as well as this seemingly well-intentioned man.
Let’s talk about what taking responsibility looks like, why advocates and victims of emotional abuse using sarcasm and satire to make their points, how abusers who want to change and actually love their wives can do that well (hint: it isn’t by trying to stay in power and control over the wife), and why my book may help you figure out if you are in an abusive marriage.
Have you ever wondered what Genesis 3:16 really means? Or perhaps your abuser is accusing you of forcing him into a transactional relationship simply because you’ve set down some boundaries he doesn’t like? How do we deal with these tough questions? In this episode, Natalie answers these questions by getting into the nitty gritty of Genesis 3:16, why we can trust ourselves, how not to get hooked in our abuser’s little game, and more. Let’s get out of the guilt and shame loop together.
The holiday season can be a very emotional time. While it’s festive and fun for many people, this time of the year isn’t necessarily a happy or carefree period for everyone. Last week, we answered some questions posed by our Flying Free community about how to get through the holidays when life feels like it’s falling apart. In fact, we received so many questions from the women in our program that we decided to make this into a two-part series. Tuning in today, you’ll receive some heartfelt advice for moving past holiday guilt and shame, standing your sacred ground despite nasty comments, navigating gift-giving in a way that aligns with your core values, and more. We also offer you some valuable tools and strategies, including questions to ask yourself to help you shift your thinking and show up with love and joy in the present moment. Join us for more tips about creating a space of peace amidst the chaos!
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
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