When you’ve got a woman of faith trapped for several years in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage, you’ve got all the ingredients for a classic case of C-PTSD. Here’s why.
The only way out of hell is up a very hot ladder, and you need to be EMPOWERED to climb that ladder and get out. You need to be PREPARED with a working knowledge of every single hot rung you will have to endure on your way up and out.
It’s like my husband spent our marriage throwing gasoline all over our home. Nobody could see it, but I could smell the fumes. They threatened to suffocate me. I knew that if I lit a match to illuminate the truth about the gasoline, I would burn our home down. I was warned, in so many words, never to light that match.
Emotional abuse is a covert, dehumanizing, psychological and spiritual reframing of reality that causes deep damage to the core of a person. Survivors of emotional abuse often struggle with depression, complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder, muscular pain, vascular problems, brain fog, sleep disorders, and more. As long as you continue to live in the poisonous atmosphere of emotional abuse, you may wrestle with the ability to breathe the clean air of Truth and find the freedom and joy of living as the person God created you to be.
There was once a Christian woman who got married. Shortly after her wedding day, she was attacked by her husband. He took her dignity and reputation, shamed her, blamed her, treated her like his property, and left her half-dead, alone in her home.
The whole “God Hates Divorce” mantra is just that, a modern day catch phrase often used to keep women stuck in destructive marriages.
Reconciliation is not a requirement. It’s the desired outcome, but it can only truly take place when four things have happened.
We want to believe we live in an advanced civilization—one that has risen above the base prejudice of our unenlightened ancestors. Human beings have a bent to marginalize other people. We want to be the best Sneetches on the beaches, after all.
There is one key component of every single emotionally destructive relationship. If this one thing is present in your relationship, you are being emotionally abused. Period.
A reader asks:
“If abuse…is so prevalent in Christian marriages, do you think there are “warnings” or “red flags” we can look out for as young women, to avoid marrying into an abusive relationship?”
Yes there are. Here’s a good list to get you started: