False piety is the voice of the enemy (I Peter 5:8). The accuser (Rev. 12:10). The liar (John 8:44). It’s anti-Christ (John 2:18). It’s darkness disguised as an angel of light (II Cor. 11:14). It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Matt. 7:15). Because it does its dirty work in disguise, it gets away with all kinds of mischief. It counts on us being too naive to recognize it or too unsure or “nice” to call it out for what it is. But that’s exactly what we’re going to do today.
Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?
I recently asked the following question on my Flying Free public Facebook page:
“What’s the craziest thing a pastor, Bible counselor, or church leader told you to do in your abusive relationship?”
Within eight hours there were over 180 comments.
That question struck a nerve.
These women lived out their prime years within prison cells built on these lies. Each lie a thick, unbending iron bar.
I’d like to share a few of the answers here, and then I’m going to tear down some of the most prevalent ones.
Pastors and religious leaders, I sat in church today and heard a message that struck fear and despair in the hearts of one hundred abuse victims sitting in that room. Here’s why.
Thinking of leaving your emotionally abusive relationship? I left mine several years ago. Here are three things I would do differently.
There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.
How many times have abuse victims escaping their abusive relationships heard “Don’t be like the woman in the Bible who tears her house down!” Let’s find out what that verse is really saying. It might surprise you!
Learn what covert emotional domestic abuse is, how it dehumanizes women and children, who participates in its propagation, why it is rampant in certain religious circles, what the cultural consequences are, and what we can and must do to expose and stop it.
When you’ve got a woman of faith trapped for several years in an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage, you’ve got all the ingredients for a classic case of C-PTSD. Here’s why.
I propose we burn the terms “complementarian” and “egalitarian” and replace them with something simpler and more self-explanatory. Here’s why.