You may have been taught that self-care is selfish, but is that really true? I believe self-care is essential to effectively caring for others. Here’s why.
When someone disapproves of us or something we did or said, it’s not comfortable, is it? It feels icky. We feel small, like this woman in the picture hiding in a box. To tolerate the disapproval of others doesn’t mean we don’t feel bad about it. Of course we feel bad about it. Nobody likes to be scolded, yelled at, told they are stupid or ridiculous or misinformed or ignorant. Negative feedback is always going to sting. Abusive feedback is always going to feel even worse.
The problem for some of us is that when someone disapproves of us, it not only hurts, but we feel that we need to change something about ourselves or about what we believe in order to gain their approval. Another problem is that instead of feeling a sting when someone disapproves, many of us feel an overwhelming and even debilitating sense of shame that paralyzes us in different ways.
This is the first article in a new series called Lessons from the Ladder. I get the title of this series from my original article called Ten Steps Out of Relationship Hell in which I write about the red hot ladder rungs we have to climb if we want to get out of the relationship pit we’ve been stuck in… Read More
False piety is the voice of the enemy (I Peter 5:8). The accuser (Rev. 12:10). The liar (John 8:44). It’s anti-Christ (John 2:18). It’s darkness disguised as an angel of light (II Cor. 11:14). It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing (Matt. 7:15). Because it does its dirty work in disguise, it gets away with all kinds of mischief. It counts on us being too naive to recognize it or too unsure or “nice” to call it out for what it is. But that’s exactly what we’re going to do today.
Some conservative Christians teach that God puts women in abusive marriages so they can better glorify Him through their suffering. What kind of a god requires the suffering of women and children in order to be glorified?
How can a woman harness her strengths to get an emotionally abusive partner OUT of her head so she can find healing and peace?
What kind of women do abusive men go for? Contrary to what you might think, women who become abuse targets are targeted for some pretty incredible strengths. Here’s how it works.
Thinking of leaving your emotionally abusive relationship? I left mine several years ago. Here are three things I would do differently.
There is a predictable pattern of behavior your emotional and spiritual abuser will follow when you set healthy boundaries. When you know what to expect, you’ll be able to hold steady in the middle of the kickback.
How many times have abuse victims escaping their abusive relationships heard “Don’t be like the woman in the Bible who tears her house down!” Let’s find out what that verse is really saying. It might surprise you!