Annette Oltmans is here to help us better understand reactive abuse and reabuse. After having personal experience with an emotionally abusive husband and reabuse from her church and therapists, she is on a mission to help other women in similar situations. Let’s dive into the messiness surrounding reactive abuse, what we can do to protect ourselves from reabuse, and how we can heal.
Are we unconditionally loved by God or not? How you answer that question will play a role in how you live your life.
What does showing up for your children mean once they are adults? It is selfish to “let them go,” make mistakes, and struggle as they make their own way in the world? Also, why in the world would an abuser file for divorce from his victim? Isn’t it usually the other way around?
Natalie is back answering listener questions, and her insights will encourage and support you.
Have you ever wondered what divorce would be like from the perspective of a teenager? The members in my private program, Flying Free, asked my daughter, Aimee, a ton of questions about her experience with divorce as a teenage girl. We’re here today to answer all of them: the awkward, the hilarious, and the intense.
Aimee was fourteen-years-old when my ex and I separated and seventeen-years-old when we were (finally) officially divorced. She was in her teenage-prime. But she made it through to the other side and is now a thriving, mildly successful young adult (her words, not mine). She knows a thing or two about being a teenager living through divorce, things we might not know as moms of kids. Listen as we riff about what this experience was like for her as she grew up.
It’s not often that we get a listener question from a man, and less often that we actually answer it. But today’s question of, “Should I continue to hold out hope for my marriage after abusing my wife? Should I fight for my wife? And what, in your opinion, does that look like?” struck me as being a question that we could all benefit from, so I’m going to give you my honest answer and hopefully help all of the women in this community as well as this seemingly well-intentioned man.
Let’s talk about what taking responsibility looks like, why advocates and victims of emotional abuse using sarcasm and satire to make their points, how abusers who want to change and actually love their wives can do that well (hint: it isn’t by trying to stay in power and control over the wife), and why my book may help you figure out if you are in an abusive marriage.
Learn about one of the fastest growing and most effective healing modalities in the therapy world right now—and how it can change YOUR life!
Internal Family Systems (IFS for short) may change the way you think about yourself, God, others, and your whole life (in a good way!)
Professional therapist Jenna Riemersma and I talk about IFS, how it ties into our faith, where we can find IFS in the Bible, and why IFS can be incredibly helpful as we learn how to break free and move forward from emotional and spiritual abuse. IFS changed the trajectory of Jenna’s life, and it can do the same for you.
If you are looking for healing, a deeper connection with God, a deeper connection with yourself, and a deeper love for yourself, this episode is for you. Let’s learn more about ourselves, others, and God as we explore the precious “family” that lives inside of us.
Get the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, recommended by therapists. That chapter will help you figure out what’s going on in your marriage.
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